You never know what she will say next

Calli has been rather good the past week, but some of the things she comes up with tickles my soul. Here are some of her theologies.

The man with no teeth:
Calli knows some adults don't have teeth, but that doesn't stop her from asking. "Where's your teeth?" Calli said. The nice man said " I lost them". Calli replied "Well maybe you should call the tooth fairy." Tickled the man asked " If I leave money under my pillow, will the tooth fairy leave me some teeth?" Calli as serious as can be " Uh huh, then you will have teeth".
All I could do is laugh, she has way too much logic for a child her age.

I don't want you to be married:
Calli is trying to understand the concept of marriage and blended families. "Mommy, I don't want you to be married." Calli said as we were headed home. "But I'm married to your daddy, if I didn't marry your daddy I wouldn't have you and Cakie(that's what we call Caitlyn)" I tried explaining. Calli replies "But I don't want you to  be married to my daddy". Shaking my head trying to figure out where she was taking this "Okay, I will divorce your daddy and he will move, then we can't see him every night." Calli thought for a minute "I still want to see daddy, so you can be married to him. But you can't be bubbas' step mommy, cause I don't want you to". I just gave up on trying to get her to understand so I just said "Okay I will only be Calli and Cakie's mommy". 
She excepted that answer for now.  

Saying goodbye to Daddy:
Some times Calli surprises us. We got ready one morning to head to daycare and work. As I normally do I told Calli to go give her daddy a hug and kiss before we leave. Calli walked over to Chuck gave him a hug and kiss and walked back over to me. As she did she wrinkled her nose and said " Daddy you stink, you need to go take a bath". Chuck and I both started laughing, and he questioned " I stink?".  "Yep go take a bath" Calli said.
As soon as we left Chuck headed to take a bath, because he didn't want Calli to come home to a stinky daddy.

I don't want to grow up:
I have been so excited for Calli's birthday. We are having an Olivia the pig theme with a coordinating outfit, party supplies, and a plan for the cake. As we talked about this in the car on the way home, she said "Mommy I'm growing and I don't want to any more".  This doesn't surprise me so I replied " You don't want to grow up? You want to turn 3 and stay 3 forever?". "Yes, I'm not going to grow up" in Calli attitude. I had this same conversation with my mom at this age so I giggled and said "Are you going to fly to Never Never Land and live with Peter Pan and Tinkerbell?". Calli replies " Yes, I'm going to Never Never Land, I love Tinkerbell". As any mother would do I said " Well okay, I understand Mommy didn't want to grow up either. I wanted to fly to Never Never Land, but I'm glad I didn't cause I love you too much. But I will let you go if you don't want to grow anymore, I will miss you so much." Calli thought "I will miss you too Mommy, so I will go later. Okay?"
I had the same conversations with my mom about never growing up. I guess Grammy got what she prayed for when she asked God to give me a little girl who was exactly like me.

God blessed me with a beautiful little girl who tickles my soul with her sense of humor. Everyone who meets her swears there is a grown woman living in that little body, who just can't help herself. Calli comes up with some of the craziest things to have an opinion on.  This Friday on the 16th my sweet little girl will turn 3, and its amazing how much my little has grown in 3 years.

My poor Bathroom!

Calli is truly a mess. At almost 3 she is as independent as they come, she wants and likes to do everything for her self. To keep her happy our bathroom is Calli efficient. That means the toilet has a step stool and a potty ring (for those of you with out kids it make the hole smaller so she doesn't fall in), she can move the step stool to turn on the sink and get in the tub.

There is no better time than in the middle of dinner you hear, "Mommy, come wipe my hinney". As normal I heard those famous words in the middle of my dinner last night. I walk in to the bathroom and she says "Mommy I pooped in the potty". I praised her for the good job and then noticed something different, there are smudges of something on the toilet seat. Then these words "Look Mommy my hands are muddy", as she laughs. Yep you guessed it, there is no mud in my bathroom. Calli told me where she got her "mud", might I say GROSS! As all parents know there is only one way to deal with a "muddy" child, put them in the tub.
So I did just that put her in the tub ever so careful to make sure no portion of her touched me, as I did not want to share in the "muddiness". I clean the bathroom and went to finish my dinner and let her father enjoy the experience of bathing her. (he has a weak stomach and gags at the sight or smell of any poop, puke, and snot) I know Chuck should not be my entertainment, but I can't help myself.

Well he decides to let her play for a while, so his food would settle a little first. I went to check on her, to make sure she is okay. OMG, was a flood in my bathroom a half an inch of water on my floor? Was it possible an earthquake happened and it caused a titlewave in the bathtub,my best guess it was Calli, and we all know she is a MESS and thats exactly what happens when she is around.


Again, I spent 20 minutes cleaning a bathroom to get all the water off the floor. Yes my bathroom floors had been mopped and the toilet cleaned all thanks to Calli. I'm not sure what to do with this child.... I need to find an inventor who make make her an adult, because I'm not sure Calli and I will survive her teenage years.

Preparing for 3

Parents always warn you about the terrible 2s. I never received the terrible 3 warning, until Calli was 2. Calli gets to turn 3 in less than a month and the bug has already bit her.


Recently we have had lots of talks about our in appropriate behaviors. She has told her teacher " I said you need to shut your mouth", she has punched a fish tank in anger, and thrown puzzle pieces at little girl in her class. As she was getting in trouble for these she sat down at the table put her fork in her mouth a pretend to smoke. All this because she thinks she is grown.


The good thing about this age is the conversations we get to have. I learned that Calli can remove all the white, squishy germs from her mouth. That only cup she deems to be a sippy cup that day, is the only cup she will drink out of . Because Calli is always right mommy is normally wrong. (I'm not sure I like being the mommy, cause I don't like being wrong) IMAGINE THAT!


Yes, she has her father's temeper and her mother's attitude. She is firecracker packaged in a little body. We are not sure she is going to survive to see her 4th birthday much less become a teenager. We pray that God will give us the patience to survive.

Dear Santa....

As we walked through Eastdale Mall yesterday, I realized that Santa was at his post as children came to tell him their request for Christmas. Calli has been terrified of this man for the last 2 years, that includes the torture of sitting in his lap screaming while I snap some quick pictures. This year is different, she was so excited to see him because he will bring her presents soon.

Santa was very busy  with many other kids waiting to talk to him so we decided to do a little skating while we were there. As we walked back by Santa after iceskating, Santa was taking a much needed break in his Wonderland. Calli just wanted to stop and wave, as she did Santa called her over to come see him.

Because Calli is my daughter what comes out of her mouth is always a surprise. The converstation went some thing like this:

Santa: Hi little girl what is your name?
Calli: CalliJadeBullard (yes she runs her whole name together)
Santa: Calli what would you like me to bring you for Christmas?
Calli: Presents.
Me: Calli, you need to tell Santa what kind of presents.
Calli: I would like toys.
Santa: I bet you would like a doll....
Calli: Yeah, but what I really want is an elephant, because I don't have one of those yet.

Yep thats right Calli wants an elephant....

She is expecting this to be in my backyard on Christmas.

This is all my fathers fault! He has been telling her that he has pet elephants in Billingsley, and they are too fast so she can't see them . This is what he wants to get her....

But I'm sure this is not what she asked for.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?????